Odwaga bycia nielubianym. Japoński fenomen, który pokazuje, jak być wolnym i odmienić własne życie

Odwaga bycia nielubianym. Japoński fenomen, który pokazuje, jak być wolnym i odmienić własne życie

  • Downloads:5481
  • Type:Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
  • Create Date:2021-09-09 09:56:23
  • Update Date:2025-09-06
  • Status:finish
  • Author:Ichiro Kishimi
  • ISBN:8375796026
  • Environment:PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle

Summary

Ciesząca się w Azji ogromną popularnością książka Odwaga bycia nielubianym, która rozeszła się w ponad trzech milionach egzemplarzy, pokazuje, jak stać się człowiekiem, jakim naprawdę chcesz być。 Oparta na motywach teorii Alfreda Adlera - obok Freuda i Junga jednego z trzech wielkich dziewiętnastowiecznej psychologii - książka ta jest pouczającą dyskusją między filozofem a młodym człowiekiem。 Ich dyskusja w przystępny sposób pokazuje, że każdy decyduje o własnym życiu i może zrzucić jarzmo przeszłości, zwątpienia oraz cudzych oczekiwań。 Przedstawiony w niej punkt widzenia wyzwala, daje odwagę do zmiany i do ignorowania ograniczeń stawianych przez otoczenie i samego siebie。

Jest to książka nie tylko niezwykle przystępna, ale i o przełomowym znaczeniu。 Z jej mądrości zaczerpnęły już miliony czytelników odkrywając jak żyć swoim własnym, zgodnym z samym sobą życiem。

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Reviews

Michelle Flower

OK, let dive straight in。。。 So I am not going to talk about the style the book is written in ( a discussion between 2 people) because all the reviews talk about that。 I did find that style a shock at first, but persevere as this book is worth reading, I did get the general gist someway into it and so the last 20 pages or so were a bit of drag but I'm essentially glad I read it。 This book is easy to read, and at 260 pages can be read fairly quickly and the concepts resonate and stick with you。 Ea OK, let dive straight in。。。 So I am not going to talk about the style the book is written in ( a discussion between 2 people) because all the reviews talk about that。 I did find that style a shock at first, but persevere as this book is worth reading, I did get the general gist someway into it and so the last 20 pages or so were a bit of drag but I'm essentially glad I read it。 This book is easy to read, and at 260 pages can be read fairly quickly and the concepts resonate and stick with you。 Each of the 5 parts of the book are also broken down into short chapters of 1 -5 pages with insightful titles, like "have the courage to be normal ", meaning you can consult them very quickly if you want to be reminded of Kishimi's and Koga's ideas again in the future。What does the book tell you ?It suggests different ways of thinking, living and of approaching life which may make your life run smoother, easier and happier and help you find purpose。 It does this by basing its concepts on the ideas and theories of Alfred Adler - who came after Freud and Jung, and who disagreed with some of their approaches。 Alfred Adler coined "Individual Psychology" - the book doesn't go into all the aspects of Individual Psychology in detail but it does touch on some concepts from it。 See here for a full definition of Individual Psychology So, what is this magic new way to live? OK, so the book is split into 5 parts。 Part 1 named Deny Trauma, tells us to reject the idea of the past - it doesn't have any bearing on the future。 We can control our emotions so that we can ensure the past doesn't affect our future; This is the difference between teleology and aetiology。 Teleology is where we look at the purpose of something, its goal, and aetiology is where we look at the cause。 So, the cause, or the belief that the past determines our future is based in aetiology, and so rejected by Adler。 Adler encourages us to ensure we do not let our trauma determine our future, and do not use it as a basis, or as a reason for affecting our future。 If we do this we are ourselves creating a reason not to do something based on an event - i。e。 I can't do x because of y - thus teleology。 We are creating a goal to not move forward。Thus having released ourselves from the past we now move on to Part 2 - which - I wholly agree with just from the title - is called All problems are interpersonal relationship problems This part of the book describes how all the things we worry about are basically related to other people and our relationships with them, things like feeling alone, feeling inferior etc, and we are doing this to ourselves by the way we view/act in these relationships with others, and we need others to feel this way。 For example we need others to feel lonely。 To feel lonely we need to feel excluded, we need others for that。The next part - Part 3 - of the book, which I love, is entitled Discard other peoples tasks。 This title also really resonated with me as I am a terror for taking on other peoples issues with me, when actually there is very little I can do about it and should concern myself with more productive things。 You can't make people like you, that is their task - you can't make people do something you want them to do, that is their task, so stop trying, prying and taking things on that aren't yours。This part of the book was probably the most insightful for me。 It made me realise when my mother has constantly interfered and overstepped the mark in my life, and I have perhaps done the same to get my needs met with previous partners lives。 The phrase you can take a horse to water, but you can't make them drink is used in this part of the book。 We are told how and why this proverb is true。 To bring this to life a little more here is an example from my own life ; My last serous partner lied to me a number of times。 One of the most puzzling and upsetting incidents was how he told me he was using a lawyer to progress his divorce。 He'd been separated over 6 years, and explained to me how he understood how important it was to me that he finally officially broke legal ties with his ex。 After 6 months and no progress on what should have been a very simple divorce, I questioned him about this, offered to help and he became very easily frustrated and vague。 Long story short turns out he was lying about the solicitor and was doing the divorce himself hence the delays。 When I discovered this, there was tiny hint from him it was my fault - due to the reaction I would have displayed if he had been honest with me about how he was going about this。 No。 There are so many things wrong with this statement but we will stay focused for this example。 A) The divorce was his task B) He needed to get on with this and be honest with me about how was going about it C) He was trying to blame me for the failure to do his agree task in the agreed way, and then being dishonest about it。 Needless to say I wasn't pleased and didn't allow him to do this。 You cant predicate someone's hypothetical reaction and use it as an excuse for repeated lying about something that is so central to a relationship。 Its very unhealthy behaviour。 This part of the book helped me to draw this parallel by using the concept of tasks。Part 4 named, Where the centre of the world is begins to tell us about our purpose and how it is to help others, to be part of the community, not within ourselves。 Note - we should not self sacrifice ourselves at the expense of others - that way we can help no one and the book does make this point。 Whilst this part of the book is convincing and I believe it, its is probably where my own development/alignment stops, so it resonates with me less as I try to battle with the practicalities of supporting myself and all the time considering others and society。 Perhaps work is a better way to look at this - if we when we do our jobs we consider ourselves there to help each other and be part of a team to create the whole - this would be my way of identifying with this point。 The final part of the book To live in the earnest of the here and now, encourages us to live in the present, have real confidence in others - not doubt as we often so easily do, and give us the courage to be normal - accept who you are :)NB to keep this brief I've not been able to explain all the concepts and the way this book works in full - here is a link to some insightful quotes from the book that will also give you a flavour of it if you considering investing the timein reading it。 。。。more

Ivone Grüntker

Teilweise etwas zäh, aber es regt zum nachdenken und überdenken an。 Essenz gut

Kristianne Noelle Celis

Not a fan of Adlerian。

Linda

I’d have to read this again to absorb the ideas。 I got something out of it。

Diana

This book tries to portray what is known as Adlerian psychology in session that mimic the discussions of Socrates and Plato。 The youth's tone was rather hyper for my taste and I would have appreciated some notes throughout the book explaining the theory behind some concepts that were truly interesting。 This book tries to portray what is known as Adlerian psychology in session that mimic the discussions of Socrates and Plato。 The youth's tone was rather hyper for my taste and I would have appreciated some notes throughout the book explaining the theory behind some concepts that were truly interesting。 。。。more

Mahdi

I loved this book, I want to read it again

Derk Zomer

Good introduction to Adlerian psychology in the format of a Socratic dialogue。 Interesting read。

Muna Dabas

absolutely excellent。 a lot of it i was believing in and following already。

Amos Muturi

The dialogues seemed forced and i really struggled to follow through different concepts raised by the authors。

Katia Bülow

lo consiglio。 alla fine non mi è dispiaciuto, mi ha particolarmente colpito la struttura fatta in dialoghi con l'allievo che obietta al maestro perché così possiamo riconoscerci in lui lo consiglio。 alla fine non mi è dispiaciuto, mi ha particolarmente colpito la struttura fatta in dialoghi con l'allievo che obietta al maestro perché così possiamo riconoscerci in lui 。。。more

Alice

I don’t quite know how to put this book into words。 I found it endlessly interesting。 It made me analyse my life, question my actions, think about how I can make the best of my life, to truly be myself。 I’m a huge fan of self development and philosophy and this book combined both seamlessly。 I really recommend this book to anyone willing to look deeper at their life and their mind in order to change their life for the better。 Because everyone can change and be happy。 The world is not complicated I don’t quite know how to put this book into words。 I found it endlessly interesting。 It made me analyse my life, question my actions, think about how I can make the best of my life, to truly be myself。 I’m a huge fan of self development and philosophy and this book combined both seamlessly。 I really recommend this book to anyone willing to look deeper at their life and their mind in order to change their life for the better。 Because everyone can change and be happy。 The world is not complicated, but we often make it so。 。。。more

Daniella Link

Great book。 At first, I found a little boring, but after reading it to the end it gave me the sensation that the answers that we are always searching are easily found within us。 We are the only ones responsible for our life。

Alexis

DNF, did not like。 I do however like these 2 opposite reviews of the book: https://www。goodreads。com/review/show。。。https://www。goodreads。com/review/show。。。 DNF, did not like。 I do however like these 2 opposite reviews of the book: https://www。goodreads。com/review/show。。。https://www。goodreads。com/review/show。。。 。。。more

Yuen Tan

This is going to be love-it or hate-it book for most。 I am glad to be introduced to Alfred Adler’s view (quite the opposite to Freud and Jung) although somehow I suspect the authors’ lens gave this a very eastern-zen philosophical flavor。In summary, have to courage to live your life, here and now (“dance” from a moment to another, since life is made of a series of “now”)。 Life itself has no purpose, but for YOU to act on and find the meaning。 There is the suggestion about purpose come from our “ This is going to be love-it or hate-it book for most。 I am glad to be introduced to Alfred Adler’s view (quite the opposite to Freud and Jung) although somehow I suspect the authors’ lens gave this a very eastern-zen philosophical flavor。In summary, have to courage to live your life, here and now (“dance” from a moment to another, since life is made of a series of “now”)。 Life itself has no purpose, but for YOU to act on and find the meaning。 There is the suggestion about purpose come from our “contribution” to others/society And love is required to feed the courage。“All problems are inter-personal relationship issues” and “build lateral rather than hierarchal relationships with others” are 2 other concepts that I am still thinking about 😀The dialogue-style narrative may not be for all but I find the “space” between the characters gave time to reflect and think。“Does one accept oneself in the level of acts, or on the level of being? This is truly a question that relates to the courage to be happy”。“Unless one is unconcerned by other people’s judgements, has no fear of being disliked by other people, and pays the cost that one might never be recognized, one will never be able to follow through in one’s own way of living。 That is to say, one will not be able to be free”。 。。。more

Rachel

Ließt sich nicht so leicht und da gehen ein paar bestimmt interessante Aspekte unter und verlieren sich unterwegs

Wisnu Putra

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it, click here。 Everyone is the same, there is no superior and inferior because every person has their min and plus。

Kristen Glenn

This is one of the best books I have read。 It wasn't necessarily a fun or light read, but it was really thought provoking and helpful。 I listened to it on audible--that may help if you feel like you are getting bogged down trying to read it yourself。 This is one of the best books I have read。 It wasn't necessarily a fun or light read, but it was really thought provoking and helpful。 I listened to it on audible--that may help if you feel like you are getting bogged down trying to read it yourself。 。。。more

Sanaa

هو حوار بين شاب حاب يغير من نفسه وحياتو وفيلسوفاللي ما عجبني بالكتاب:طبعا عنوان الكتاب ما اله دخل بمحتوى الكتاب –-tIndividual psychology الكتاب عبارة عن افكار الطبيب النفسي ألفريد أدلر, -افكار الكتاب نفس افكار كل كتب التنمية البشرية التقليدية عن الافكار الايجابية ونظرتك للحياة لازم تكون متفائلة واي اشي بصير معك بالحياة فالسبب هو انت وما لازم تهتم لرأي الاخرين فيك وهيك كل مشاكلك بالحياة بتنحلبتأثر على سلوكك وشخصيتك باقي حياتك، الماضي وشو صار معك مش مهم المهم -)trauma) تجاهل انو الصدمة النفسية 🙄ان هو حوار بين شاب حاب يغير من نفسه وحياتو وفيلسوفاللي ما عجبني بالكتاب:طبعا عنوان الكتاب ما اله دخل بمحتوى الكتاب –-tIndividual psychology الكتاب عبارة عن افكار الطبيب النفسي ألفريد أدلر, -افكار الكتاب نفس افكار كل كتب التنمية البشرية التقليدية عن الافكار الايجابية ونظرتك للحياة لازم تكون متفائلة واي اشي بصير معك بالحياة فالسبب هو انت وما لازم تهتم لرأي الاخرين فيك وهيك كل مشاكلك بالحياة بتنحلبتأثر على سلوكك وشخصيتك باقي حياتك، الماضي وشو صار معك مش مهم المهم -)trauma) تجاهل انو الصدمة النفسية 🙄انك عايش بالحاضر 。。。more

Apoorva Zope

This book will change your life, I guarantee。

Ludmilla

Adler psikolojisine giriş için ideal bir başlangıç sayılabilir。 Diyaloglar halinde yazılması da okumayı ve öğrenmeyi hayli kolaylaştırıyor。 Hayli iddialı başlığı en azından benim açımdan bekleneni vermedi ama düşündürücü biraz da olumlu duygular aşılayan, umut veren bir kitap olduğunu söyleyebilirim。

Luis Velardo Álvarez

I just finished this book and I cannot help but feel conflicted about it。 On one hand, it has enormously changed the way I perceive the world and myself; on the other hand, the ending seemed a bit too idealistic and rushed for the evolution of the young character。 Anyway, it definitely sparked a lot of interest for me to do some more research around psychology。

Chí Thiện

mình vừa đọc qua mình mục lục và giới thiệu。 Thật đáng tiếc rằng mình không đủ kiên nhẫn để đọc hết cuốn sách dù đã cố gắng。 cái nhìn phiến diện của tác giả trong câu chuyện đầu tiên về chàng trai và cách dẫn dắt câu chuyện khá là bình thường nếu không muốn nói là tầm thường。 Suy cho cùng thì đây cũng là một cuốn self-help。 Trên đây là cảm nhận của cá nhân mình。

Irma Nurhayati

Membaca buku ini membuatku mengenal tokoh filsuf baru yaitu Alfred Adler。 Aku ga bisa bilang buku ini ringan, karena pembahasan dan kosakata yang terbilang banyak yang baru buat aku。 Namun, bukunya dibawakan secara berbeda yaitu sebagai percakapan antara seorang filsuf dan pemuda。 Dua orang ini bercengkrama di rumah sang filsuf selama 5 malam, membicarakan filosofi tentang kehidupan yang relate sekali dengan yang banyak orang alami termasuk aku。 Memang ada banyak teori filosofis yang agak sulit Membaca buku ini membuatku mengenal tokoh filsuf baru yaitu Alfred Adler。 Aku ga bisa bilang buku ini ringan, karena pembahasan dan kosakata yang terbilang banyak yang baru buat aku。 Namun, bukunya dibawakan secara berbeda yaitu sebagai percakapan antara seorang filsuf dan pemuda。 Dua orang ini bercengkrama di rumah sang filsuf selama 5 malam, membicarakan filosofi tentang kehidupan yang relate sekali dengan yang banyak orang alami termasuk aku。 Memang ada banyak teori filosofis yang agak sulit dicerna, tapi bukan berarti ga ada yang menempel。 Ada bahasan yang sangat melekat dipikiran aku, seperti "Trauma itu tidak ada, itu hanya alat untuk mencapai tujuan", "amarah hanya alat untuk meraih tujuan", "masalah kehidupan tak jauh dari hubungan intrapersonal", "berani tidak disukai merupakan awal untuk menciptakan kebahagiaan"。Buku ini setidaknya harus dibaca sekali untuk kamu yang sering merasa insecure dan seringkali overthinking。 Sekali dibaca kamu akan tahu bagian mana yang akan kamu baca ulang berkali-kali。 。。。more

syarif

Sangat menambah insight to build inner power 👏Mengajarkan untuk tidak perlu mencari pengakuan dari orang lain, jadi jangan hidup demi memenuhi ekspektasi orang lain。 Perasaaan inferior akan muncul dengan membandingkan diri ke orang lain, sebaiknya membandingkan diri dengan keadaan diri yang ideal 🤩🤝

Kayla

I didn't particularly like the format of this, and the fact that I had previous exposure to and an interest in the concepts in it is what made it worth continuing。 If I had picked this up on a whim I probably wouldn't have finished it。 It did give me plenty to think about with regard to differentiation theory, which is what I have been doing a lot of learning about via books/articles/podcasts, etc。 in the recent months。 I didn't particularly like the format of this, and the fact that I had previous exposure to and an interest in the concepts in it is what made it worth continuing。 If I had picked this up on a whim I probably wouldn't have finished it。 It did give me plenty to think about with regard to differentiation theory, which is what I have been doing a lot of learning about via books/articles/podcasts, etc。 in the recent months。 。。。more

Vedaant

One of the best books I have read in this genre。 Highly recommend!

Alan Hughes

A short book which manages to make Alderian psychology understandable。 Although it has fallen out of fashion there is a great deal of sense in this approach to dealing with our personal problems。 This book takes Adler's work, and the philosophy of the Stoics, and interprets them in a way understandable in our modern culture。 Well worth a read。 A short book which manages to make Alderian psychology understandable。 Although it has fallen out of fashion there is a great deal of sense in this approach to dealing with our personal problems。 This book takes Adler's work, and the philosophy of the Stoics, and interprets them in a way understandable in our modern culture。 Well worth a read。 。。。more

Abhishek Mishra

A good book to read。 Opens up many mental pores & reinstates many thoughts that we already believe abstractly!

Ruca Muca

For a person who has knowledge of psychology and psychiatry this is a boring book。 Some of the adlerian theories we now know that they were wrong (the theory about trauma for example)。 Some of the other information/theories have nothing in common with the psychology of being liked/people pleaser。 That part of the books comes at the end (after listening about 4--5 hours of something irrelevant) and it has nothing to do with japanese culture。 I wanted yo quit this book so many times, and it wasn't For a person who has knowledge of psychology and psychiatry this is a boring book。 Some of the adlerian theories we now know that they were wrong (the theory about trauma for example)。 Some of the other information/theories have nothing in common with the psychology of being liked/people pleaser。 That part of the books comes at the end (after listening about 4--5 hours of something irrelevant) and it has nothing to do with japanese culture。 I wanted yo quit this book so many times, and it wasn't worth finishing it in the end。 。。。more

Woo

6h3min